Circle

“500 rupees”, said the traffic cop after having stopped me for running a red light. There he was, smartly turned out, a rather portly man in his whites and khakis, stylishly placing one leg on the footrest of his bike and using the seat as a makeshift table. It was a busy time of the day for him. He had a lot of captives to extract fines from. He made no eye contact, made his mental calculation and looking elsewhere, blurted out the fine. I tried to say something, but couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t deserve to.

It was a normal morning. It was bright and sunny, a climate that encouraged me to get to work early. I had an early meeting to attend, something important, something that would determine my fate in the company going forward. I was worked up to say the least and it showed as I fumbled through my morning routine and got into the car. I turned on the CD player and something blared out to take my focus away from the thoughts in my mind. A sense of déjà vu enveloped me and I couldn’t figure out why. I had been here before.

Nevertheless, I started the car and proceeded towards my office. The one way system was such that I had to circle around a large building to get to the right road. There was one right turn that was governed by a red light that had to be taken to complete the circle. As I approached it, I was sweating. The fragrance of the deodorant was all washed out; my cooling glasses were beginning to slip on my nose. I was driving, but it was trancelike. I was getting late for my meeting. As I approached the red light, I began to slow down, but something inside me wouldn’t want me to stop. I slowed almost to halt at the red and suddenly, pressed the accelerator and turned right, without realizing that it was still red. I was stopped by the cop. “500 rupees”, he said. He made no eye contact, made his mental calculation and blurted out the fine.

I didn’t have a penny on me. Time was running out for my meeting and I had to start immediately. I pleaded with him to let me go, to not punish me this once. My angst turned into anger, my anger turned into sadness, my eyes started watering, and my voice started shaking. He took my papers and my car keys and asked me to pay the fine or go to court to get the car released. I had to do something. The nearest ATM was a five minute walk. The sun was intense and my clothes dripping with sweat. I had on, not the most comfortable of shoes. My boss called me on my cell phone and gave me a piece of his mind for starting late saying, ‘You should have been halfway by now”. I was late, angry and tired. I cursed my fate and walked. As I approached the ATM, I saw that it was temporarily closed for the previous day’s cash to be collected. I begged the collector to let me in, to use the machine for 5 minutes. He did not agree.

I was livid. I cursed him openly and loudly and threatened to speak to his supervisors if he did not let me use the ATM. He cursed me back. Verbal turned physical. We fought. It was a release, a wild, animal like fight. I knocked him down. I waited a few seconds to see if he was breathing but I was too disoriented to notice it. I had to get to my meeting. I wasn’t going to be left out of that. I withdrew the money, walked around him and walked back to the cop. I was bleeding, my shirt was in a mess and I had a limp from a blow to my knee. As I neared, I saw that the cop had stepped away from his bike to speak to a few offenders. My papers and keys were on his bike seat. I glared at him, took the papers and keys and bolted towards my car, got in and started it. I didn’t look back. Maybe he did not notice, maybe he had not written down my number.

As I sped down the road, I thought about the guy I had knocked down in the ATM. I wondered whether he was alive or dead. My own pain and dishevelment distracted me. Suddenly, a white car overtook me from the left and cut in front of me. He was fast. I had never seen that make before. It was a regal looking car, milk white and huge. As he cut across, his window lowered and he showed me his middle finger. That was the last thing I needed. I was enraged. I had to give it back to him. I kept close to him. As he turned, I turned. I had to get next to him. He turned again, I turned again. I was gaining on him. I noticed nothing but that regal white car. He turned one more time and I turned behind him. He suddenly disappeared in a cloud of smoke and I braked suddenly, wondering what had happened.

I had run the same red light again. “500 rupees”, said the traffic cop…